my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
as a side note pls kill me
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