my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
