One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize