never play flip cup with pint glasses
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Why did you have to tell me he has a hammer cock? Now I can’t stop staring at his pants.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
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