I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
