K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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