Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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