I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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