I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
either way he was missing a nipple.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
