she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Randomize
