office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
There was already gay porn open on my laptop with a tiny carrot cake, a bottle of water, and a note saying "I love you, Sober Me."
Drunk me just hits it and quits it.
Randomize
