I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
