Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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