I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Randomize
