I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I want to fling myself into the sun
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
