I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
