You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
Randomize
