you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
