K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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