dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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