Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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