I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
Randomize
