so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Randomize
