it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
