I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
