Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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