I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
