After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
