He asked to "fluff my boner.."
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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