I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
