Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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