Nicole vs. Life
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
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