Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
