every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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