So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
