my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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