do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
