i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
