Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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