How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
