one word: firstdatebathroomanal
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
