I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
