sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
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