I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
