So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
