Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
