dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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