I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
