dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
