Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
porn star boner night. come get it.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
