i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
