You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
